Namaste

Recently I went through a challenging situation in my marriage. I am usually a very cheerful person. I have asked Geetanjali so many times ‘ what it is ,to be depressed?’. I do not understand depression because I have so much gratitude for life. I have seen many uneventful events in my life. I transformed them into diamonds, so I don’t know how to hate those who troubled me or caused me grief.

So many events happened back to back while I was seeking spirituality long ago. It made me take some serious decisions to make my life less complicated. One such decision was ‘not to have friends’. I did not feel the need and choose to stay strong and focussed on my family always. 

So this difference of opinion in marriage caused me unbearable grief. I suffered severe headaches for weeks. The uncertainty, all that I have built collapsing in front of my eyes broke my heart. I cried for many days not knowing what to do and whom to talk to. I don’t share any problems with parents , they are too old. Atlast my son suggested I talk to someone as I did have a strong urge to take a bad decision of calling it quits to my life.

Everytime I fought with my husband, middle of the fight, the frustration, the inability to handle unreasonable behaviour made me want to just jump from my building right away. I could not understand why I became like this. The issue causing the grief made me use  foul language and curse the one who caused me the grief. I n-e-v-e-r use foul language. It caused me restlessness as to what have I become. Where is my spirituality? How can I face my Guru and his teachings.? After all he brought me up so well. I felt I let him down. 

Since I had suicidal thoughts, my son forced me to talk to someone, so I connected with Geetanjali. I did not share any personal details, but I did break down and asked questions on how to develop inner strength. She told me ‘u should not have such thoughts’ and asked me to meditate regularly. She immediately suggested in message if she can start healings for me. I was very touched on her instinct to help immediately. I said yes. I felt her love. I am very very receptive to healings always.

With just 1 healing, my thoughts changed completely and I just let everything be and moved on. From being stressed , not wanting to do any work, not wanting to meditate , unbearable emptiness in the heart, I transformed to a state of nothingness and not wanting to think much state. Slowly I avoided the topic causing this unbearable grief. My husband by then had calmed down and moved on too. We are slowly getting back to small conversations, not making ‘big statements’ kind of situation. I requested for 10 Pyschotherapy sessions and after it was over , I continued healing for us.

I am not saying the problem is completely resolved, but surely my emotional state is far better. Normally I am a very responsible person. I dislike not handling over things properly. Atleast I can’t die not handling over things properly. that’s not how I would want to die. I can’t believe of all the people I had suicidal thoughts…Even now it’s a mystery to me .

I am so grateful for the immediate help I got from Geetanjali. I am so grateful that I am connected to Ruchi & Sanjil, to IWC. 

Few lessons I learned

1. We have to put timetable and do regular Pyschotherapy healings for us and our family members.
2. We should connect with somebody about how we feel at the time of stress.
3. We should write gratitude journal.
4. I strongly feel I got healed with the message saying ‘shall I heal?’ When people shower us with love & genuine care, it melts my heart completely, I don’t know how not to reciprocate. So I appeal to you all, if you find anybody with any problem, pls check with them immediately if they want healing. It touched and changed me. I hope it touches someone who is in dark,  the healings will surely provide the light & guidance.

Good luck to all of you for a happy life.

– Contributed by Rohini(name changed to protect privacy)