Anger and I have been friends since years(or may be since incarnations). For many years, I did not even realize that I need to work on my anger. I stayed in anger emotion for days and I justified it. After coming into Energy Healing, I clearly understood that anger is an unhealthy emotion and I need to work on it. By practicing twin hearts mediation and blue triangle taught in Arhatic Prep-2 course, my anger has reduced significantly – may be by almost 80%. It took years of practice to achieve this result.
20% anger is still in me and when situations trigger anger, I respond very harshly. I took it easy about this as I was happy with 80% progress I achieved with anger . On December 24th 2020, a scenario happened where I burst out in anger on someone. Yes, this person was wrong but I responded quite harshly. Later, this person apologized and explained why the situation happened. After listening to the explanation, I felt very bad and guilty for responding in anger. I suffered with guilt for 2 days. Even in my meditation, I was seeing only this person and my peace of mind is disturbed.
My Guru’s teachings said instead of feeling guilty, we need to learn out of our mistakes. So, I decided to learn out of this mistake. I took a resolution to never respond in anger again in life. I cannot control over 20% of anger I have but I can control my response. If I don’t respond in anger, I cannot hurt others. So, I took this resolution of not responding in anger.
But how to sustain this resolution about anger? I took many resolutions in the past and they are broken in a week. How to do it differently this time? I thought about all the books I read about human mind. In one book, I read that we, humans, operate on the basis of rewards and penalties. Penalty motivates us more than reward.(Big penalty is one of the reasons why people follow traffic rules or maintain clean roads in western countries.). And mind is bothered more with a loss of 5000 rupees than a gain of 1 lakh rupees. Loss and penalty are tough for the mind.
So, I wanted to experiment with this aspect of mind and kept a penalty for myself. Whenever I respond in anger, I need to throw away 3 Kgs of fresh tomatoes in dustbin. Why this penalty? Because I love tomatoes and don’t like to waste even 1 tomato. Even the thought of wasting 3 kgs of tomatoes hurts me. So, I kept this penalty. What happened after setting this penalty? Whenever I felt angry, without any effort from my side, my mind immediately remembered 3 Kgs tomatoes and suggested me not to respond. It reminded me of energy breathing and suggested me to calm down before I speak a word. Thanks to the encouragement of my mind, I practiced energy breathing and calmed down my anger. No criticism. No harsh responses.
I have been following this technique for almost 1 month and in this period, I did not respond in anger towards anyone(not even towards my close family members). There are various situations that tested me but I maintained my calmness because of 3 Kgs tomatoes. I saved myself from arguments, harsh behavior and regrets. There are no impulsive actions done by me in a fit of anger. If the situation needed my action, I calmed down my anger first with energy breathing and then responded with a cool mind.
This is an amazing change I experienced in my behavior. My mind has become my friend which helped me to rise above anger just because of setting a penalty. I am very grateful to the person who inspired me to change my behavior. Thank you MV. Thank you to all those books I read on human mind. And thank you to my Guru for giving energy breathing technique which instantly helps in calming down emotions.
If you are interested to practice this technique, below are some pointers.
- Be really serious about implementing penalty. Your mind should be convinced that you will implement it.
- You can try various penalties like not touching social media for 2 days, not eating your favorite food for 2 days or like me, 3 kgs tomato technique. You can have anything as a penalty as long it feels like a penalty to you.
- If you want this to be more effective, share it with your family members and ask them to remind you. They will do a great job.
- Use energy breathing to diffuse the anger out of your system because it is not healthy to suppress anger.
Sarve jana sukhino bhavanthu!