After coming into energy healing, I learned about the law of karma and its impact on relationships. I learned how to transform my relationships with wellness meditation. I felt quite empowered when I saw my relationships transform due to the application of these teachings. With all these miracles I have witnessed, certain pride has come in and I thought I know everything about relationships. To break my pride, there came a person. Lets call her Yashoda.
When I came in contact with her, she was going through severe relationship issues. She was unable to forgive her husband and most of her relationships are in a bad state. She asked for my suggestions. I suggested her to do wellness meditation and bless them. She practiced for 3 months but she could not experience any transformation and she was quite depressed. She could not forgive them. She was very angry and suffocated with the behaviour of her family members. I suggested her to continue her meditations and practices. I also suggested her to let go of expectations from her family members and love her ownself. She asked me innocently – ‘if I have to love myself and expect nothing from my family members, then what’s the point in marrying?’
I managed to tell her something at that point of time but her question stayed in my heart. True, if we should not have any expectations from others like happiness, love, respect, then why marry? why bring kids? what is the purpose of all these relationships? Years went by and these questions still stayed in my heart. I did not know the answer.
Recently I was reading something and came across a line. It said – ‘The purpose of all relationships is to serve.’ It struck me that this is the answer for the question of Yashoda. This 1 line changed my viewpoint of relationships. Initially, when I read this, my ego said – “What? Am I a servant to serve others? Stop reading such nonsense.” But the line stayed with me and as I meditated on this line, it made more sense to me.
We grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally through serving others but whom to serve every single day? I can serve myself to some extent but it would be quite boring to only cook for me, care for me and indulge in myself everyday. Family members, colleagues, boss, friends and people around us are wonderful channels giving us wide variety of opportunities to serve. We can grow in relationships only if we are ready to serve. As long as we keep expecting and demanding from others, our relationships bring us unhappiness and frustration.
So, I started seeing every relationship as an opportunity to serve. Due to this change in my perception, I experienced below benefits.
- I could drop all the expectations I had from others like love, respect etc.
- I did not have to forgive anyone because I have no expectations from them.
- I became more grateful to my family members and others as anything they did became a bonus which I did not expect.
- I am now more efficient and started to stand on my own feet. I learnt new skills after I decided to stand on my own feet.
- I became more dependent on God and Guru as I realized they are the only 2 beings who have the power to fulfill my needs.
- Earlier my ego would get hurt if someone ignored me or did not answer my questions or did not give me my due share of respect and recognition(these are some of my weaknesses). But now these things did not matter to me as I stopped expecting others to acknowledge or answer me.
- I am more happy in life. The more I served, the happier and stronger I became. I enjoy cooking, cleaning, healing, teaching, writing and any work that came my way as all these are the opportunities sent by God to help me evolve.
- I stopped comparing myself with others or feeling jealous(some more weaknesses I carried).
- Earlier, I did not like to take up responsibilities. Now I am happy to take up responsibilities. I am happy to care for others.
- If anything bothers me in relationships, I ask myself – am I serving or expecting? and it clears the friction.
This simple line could transform my relationships and life greatly. Of course, if someone told me this few years back, I would have dismissed it as I was not ready then. Regular meditation of years and spiritual teachings have already softened my heart to some extent and transformed my relationships. So, it is easier for me to accept this line wholeheartedly and live my life by it.
Everyday, I remind myself that I am on this planet only to serve others and this reminder is the guiding light of my relationships. I hope Yashoda reads this blog and finds her answer. My deep gratitude to her for asking the question. My gratitude to the author of this line and God for bringing this into my life.
Sarve jana sukhino bhavanthu!
-Contributed by Geethanjali Balachander